Daniela's Twenty Year Anniversary of being our daughter!!! How far she has come!!

Daniela's translated new birth certificate - saying she was a Romanian child born in the Netherlands to us!?

 From Tina - Twenty years ago on March 7th 1991, a new chapter began in the life of the Goldstone family of Wijnandsrade, the Netherlands (and the good ol' USA!). On that day, a scared little girl with very big eyes entered our lives and would change us all (and many other people who have come to know her) in profound and positive ways. We knew from the start that life would always be challenging for her. Her lack of pre-natal care, possible exposure to alcohol in the womb, and early life in an orphanage would effect her development in serious and permanent ways. Though no amount of love or education would ever have been able to totally restore her original potential, as you can see from this blog, Daniela is one VERY determined survivor! She has come farther than any of us could have predicted (and is only just beginning!)


As we celebrate her twenty years with us, I thought I'd share some photos from her very early hours and days as Daniela Goldstone. I hope you enjoy them!

Our beautiful Daniela, we are so glad you are our daughter! The years have really flown by. I can't believe in a few months you'll be headed off to college - we are all so excited for you and love you very, very much!! This is a tribute to you - SURPRISE!!

(Be sure to check back later for Daniela's post about this special day. We have other surprises in store for her today - shhhhh!

Also, be sure to check the second post I'm including now. By coincidence or fate (or providence!) today my big story comes out in Exceptional Parent Magazine about Daniela's visit to Shepherds College! Read the post to find out all about it and find out how to see the article for yourself! (One hint here - our story made the cover of the magazine!!!!!)

Now - here's our lovely baby Daniela!

March 7, 1991 at the Focsani, Romania orphanage - This photo was taken right before they dressed Daniela and she left forever to go first to Bucharest, and two days later, to her forever home with me, her dad and her big sister. Notice how she is staring at her hand, avoiding all that was going on around her. Also notice the lack of color, toys, or any semblance of joy. This was her life for almost 15 months. She was terrified of the orphanage workers and screamed and shook in fear when they picked her up. When I was there they handled her like a sack of potatoes. The staff spent only enough time with the babies to very quickly give them bottles, change their clothes and diapers, etc. No effort was made to interact with them. As a result, the children only rarely heard human voices. Daniela was silent for many days, except for guttural, almost animal noises. She also had rarely been held and was either stiff as a board or entirely floppy. The children spent their days sleeping or rocking themselves in their beds. Daniela was standing here, but didn't stand again for over a month. She had a very weak crawl and didn't walk until she was 18 months old.

Me, preparing to grab Daniela as the orphanage staff handed her to me out of the window.

Holding Daniela as my daughter for the first time (It was the orphanage tradition that all new parents received their children this way - sort of a birth experience. I thought it was a nice touch. They hadn't taken great care of her, but did keep her alive. Most of the women were poor and uneducated and thought these children (many of them Roma - "gypsy") were of no value. Little did I know Daniela's brother was also there - secreted away from the other children in even worse conditions because he was HIV positive (which the orphanage had given him from dirty needles and infected transfusions). Read about Daniel in an earlier post.

Daniela's passport photo, taken 3 hours after we left the orphanage. She was frozen with fear. Could her eyes possibly have been larger or more beautiful? I don't think so!! She was so silent and had not cried once since we left the orphanage. She was watching every single thing going on around her (but wouldn't look directly at us)>

Back at the Bucharest apartment I lived in while in Romania. She refused to make eye contact and was flapping her little hand. Her self-stimulating behaviors continued for months. Her hands had been all she had to comfort and entertain herself with for 15 months.

Her first present given to her by an Irish adopting mom (who was also staying in the apartment). Daniela didn't want to touch it but REALLY did not want it touching her either. She still has this doll and I think it still scares her a little bit!

After I got her ready for bed the first night - Can you imagine how overwhelmed and confused she must have been? She'd never seen a toy, heard music, been hugged or held while she was drinking her bottle and refused to drink if anyone was near her for several days. In fact, mealtime was almost the only time she cried after she left the orphanage -it was very stressful for her. She had never had anything but milk and raw eggs in a bottle - no solids. She had food issues for years and still mostly loves milk and eggs! She also had almost no pain sensations for years - her nerve endings seemed numbed and she constantly sought sensory stimulation.  She does feel pain now and her sensory issues are almost completely resolved ( a huge step forward for her).

Back home in Holland, Daniela gets to know her Dad for the first time. By now she was beginning to look us in the eye! She loved nostrils (of all things!) and especially loved sticking her fingers in them. "Hi, Pop!" He was the person who received her first hug - at the 4th of July fireworks when they shot off cannons - she jumped into his safe arms and buried herself in his chest! From then on, Daniela has been one big, hugging machine! Just ask anyone who knows her!

Getting to know her big sister, Marcy (age 9). Daniela adored her from the start. Marcy was the person who first made Daniela laugh! Marcy was her great motivator and cheerleader. Daniela also terrorized her big sister (and her belongings) when she finally became mobile! She was a notorious paper shredder. No book was  safe for a number of years!

Home for one month - her first Easter with us - she was beginning to show us her impish personality - curious, energetic, and happy. She was also just beginning to trust us and realize that life had so much to offer! It would take years and years of love, therapy and education for Daniela to recover from her early life. They were challenging years for all of us and her future in the early years seemed quite precarious.  Somewhere in her core, Daniela held a resilient determination and sunny optimism that saved her from turning into a sad statistic. We now look forward to seeing how she begins this new chapter her new life as an adult - learning, working, and sharing her optimism and determination with the rest of the world!




All the best, Tina